Dumbledore Vs the Whomping Willow
by Violet Lunar Wolf
Summary: When Dumbledore investigates the disappearance of the sword of Gryffindor he discovers a secret hidden in the Shrieking Shack. But its a secret he'll have to fight to uncover.
1. Chapter 1

Dumbledore Vs. the Whomping Willow

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter names, characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing that you recognize.

 _Written for the Operation Crunchy Banana Soup challenge on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenge forum_

It began one night when Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were sitting in the Shrieking Shack, discussing the goings on and current events at school. Though it was mostly Sirius who was doing all the talking. Lupin was too busy munching on an oversized chocolate bar to say much.

Lupin was quite happy because this particular chocolate bar was over a foot long. It was the biggest bar of chocolate he'd ever had, and he was going to savor every last bit of it until it was gone.

"Look at you, Moony," said Sirius, grinning and chuckling as he watched his friend gnawing on the bar of chocolate. "You look like a dog with a bone in his mouth."

Lupin didn't comment on what Sirius said. He just kept chewing on the chocolate bar, a thin trail of saliva trickling from the corner of his mouth as he drooled over the delicious chocolate that he loved so much.

"Wish I had something to eat," Sirius continued. "You always have your chocolate doggie treats, but I don't have anything."

"You could have some of my chocolate if you want," Lupin offered.

"No offense, Remus, but no one is going to eat anything after you've slobbered all over it."

"Oh. Right. I forgot about that." Lupin held up his bar of chocolate. "Werewolf cooties," he said, pointing at it and chuckling.

"What I'd like to have is ice cream," said Sirius. "Loads of it. Enough that I could swim in it if I wanted to." He was then struck with a bolt of inspiration.

"I know!" he exclaimed suddenly, his face lighting up at the idea that entered his mind. "What we need to do is start bringing our favorite foods in here and stockpiling them in one of the rooms. We could add to our secret snack pile throughout the month. Then, once the full moon has passed and the moon is starting to wane again, we could all gather together for a big feast!"

Lupin looked a little puzzled. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I follow you. What would be the point of waiting until the moon begins to wane?"

"Remus, your transformations are never pleasant, and afterwards you're always aching and miserable. Wouldn't it be nice to know that, after everything is over and the worst is behind you, you could collapse in a giant pile of chocolate and eat until you feel better?"

The thought of having his very own heaping mound of chocolate did sound rather nice. And no matter how bad he felt chocolate always made him feel better.

"Alright then," said Lupin. "Let's do it. Let's turn this place into a storeroom for our favorite treats. Just make sure Peter keeps his food well away from everyone else's. I don't want my chocolate stinking like old cheese."

And so the little band of Marauders began gathering as much of their favorite foods as they could. They went down into the kitchens late at night, getting food from the house elves who were happy to serve them, bringing them several plates worth of their favorite foods upon request.

Little by little their collection grew, until they each had a large pile of their favorite food tucked into a corner of one of the rooms in the Shrieking Shack.

Lupin had a pile of chocolate bars in one corner of the room. Sirius had several cartons of ice cream that he had charmed to stay cold so it wouldn't melt. Peter Pettigrew had his cheese, and James had an assortment of fruit so he could make fruit salad.

"Look at this," said James, indicating with a wave of his hand towards all the food they'd collected. "We've gone from being a rat, a dog, a werewolf and a stag to being a bunch of squirrels hoarding food for the winter."

"This is the Snack Shack now," said Sirius, grinning at James. "There's only one problem. We need a way to protect our stash so no one can get in here and steal it. A weapon of some sort. That's what we need. A weapon to defend our snacks."

James rolled his eyes. "And who is going to get past the Whomping Willow, come all the way down here and steal or food?"

"Snape," Sirius answered almost immediately. "He's made it down here once before - "

"Only because you told him how to get here."

" - and he's bound to do it again," Sirius finished.

Lupin kept quiet while they were talking. He had snuck a chocolate bar from the pile in the corner and was munching on it while he listened to their conversation.

"I don't trust Snape not to tell his fellow snakes about his place, especially if he suspects we're up to something," Sirius continued. "What we need is a powerful weapon, one that represents Gryffindor and all that we stand for, to show Snape that this is our territory and that Slytherins aren't allowed."

The boldness and determination in his voice was growing by the second as he spoke.

"We need..." he paused for dramatic effect. "The sword of Gryffindor!"

And before anyone could stop him, Sirius Black had darted off down the hall and was off to the castle to steal the ancient sword of Gryffindor.

Now stealing food was one thing, but stealing a sword was something else entirely. They were able to sneak food out of the kitchen easily enough, but there was no way Sirius could steal the sword of Gryffindor without someone finding out what he was up to.

Dumbledore had been secretly aware of the goings on in the kitchen, having often gone down for a midnight snack himself from time to time. He noticed the supplies of certain food items were getting a bit low, and he occasionally heard footsteps retreating down the corridor as he approached the kitchen.

With his kind heart and good natured spirit, Dumbledore didn't think much of a few students sneaking food from the kitchen. Sometimes he just chuckled pleasantly to himself and smiled as he caught sight of Lupin's foot below the hem of James' invisibility cloak as he ran down the hall.

He knew that Lupin had an increased appetite, particularly around the time of the full moon. It was around this time when the boy craved large quantities of food, mostly meats, and would greedily devour anything edible in sight. He once caught Lupin in the kitchen the night before the full moon eating ham smothered in chocolate sauce. So it wasn't unusual to see him down here sneaking food.

Dumbledore could ignore the missing food, but when he returned to his office and found the sword of Gryffindor missing from its case it was time to take action.

His first thought was to follow Lupin as he was sneaking off with another batch of food from the kitchen. While he didn't suspect that Lupin was the one responsible for the sword's disappearance, he knew the boy's friends were often in trouble for their various pranks and hijinks throughout the castle.

Dumbledore didn't think that Lupin's actions were anything more than a hungry young werewolf in need of a little something to get him through until breakfast. But when he followed the boy out onto the grounds and watched from a distance as a second student joined him, a student who just happened to be carrying a large bundle in his arms, he began to think that something was amiss.

"You should not have taken that," said Lupin, shaking his head in disapproval. "Don't you realize that you could get expelled?"

Sirius just waved a hand at him, dismissing his friend's concern.

Lupin's eyes suddenly widened as he noticed a figure watching them from across the grounds.

"Sirius. Sirius, we have to go," he whispered frantically in the dark, tapping Sirius on the shoulder to get his attention.

Sirius followed his friend's gaze and saw the figure was now crossing the grounds and moving towards them. When he realized that it was Dumbledore his heart plummeted into his stomach as panic gripped his insides.

Both boys turned and ran, with Sirius holding back just long enough to press the knot at the base of the Whomping Willow so Lupin could enter the tunnel under the tree.

In his haste to escape into the tunnel after Lupin, Sirius slipped and the cloth bound bundle he was carrying went flying out of his hands, landing in the grass behind him as he fell onto his back, effectively knocking the wind out of his lungs.

Sirius lay on the ground, stunned and breathless, the sword of Gryffindor several yards away in the grass.

The Whomping Willow was starting to move again. Dumbledore was getting closer. And Sirius Black couldn't move.

Dumbledore approached the Whomping Willow and its branches began to quiver and shake. One of the tree's long branches reached down, looping and twisting around the handle of the sword.

The Whomping Willow brandished the sword, swinging and stabbing at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore drew his wand, meeting the tree blow for blow with shield charms to block the Whomping Willow's attacks. He tried stunning the tree, but each time the Whomping Willow raised the sword and used its blade to deflect any spell sent its way.

The Whomping Willow had always been dangerous and extremely difficult to deal with. But now that it had the sword of Gryffindor within its grasp things had gotten much worse. And as Dumbledore prepared to cast another stunning spell at the vicious tree, the Whomping Willow slashed at him with the sword, slicing his beard clean off.

For a moment Dumbledore stood still, staring in stunned disbelief at the greying hairs that lie strewn about the ground at his feet. Seconds later the Whomping Willow took another swig at him, this time coming close to cutting off his nose.

By now Dumbledore had had enough of dealing with this blasted tree. He fired another spell, this one powerful enough to knock the sword out of the tree's grasp and send it spinning through the air where it struck the ground point first several yards away.

Dumbledore ducked beneath the tree's flailing branches and seized Sirius Black by the back of his robes, dragging the young boy out from under the tree.

Sirius immediately began twisting and squirming, yelling in protest as he tried to free himself.

"I didn't do it! I swear I didn't steal the sword! It was just lying there when I got here, honest!"

"Come with me, mister Black," said Dumbledore, marching the boy off in the direction of the castle, pausing to retrieve the sword before continuing on his way. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Would you believe me if I said a dragon did it?" Sirius asked.

James and Peter were now standing at the mouth of the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. The last words they heard as they watched their friend being hauled off towards the castle was Sirius yelling in the distance, "I regret nothing except getting caught!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: James Vs the Whomping Willow

 _Written for the Operation Crunchy Banana Soup With Chocolate Sprinkles challenge on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenge forum._

A/N: I didn't intend on making this a two-shot. But after seeing the prompt "James bets Sirius he can climb to the top of the Whomping Willow without getting hurt", I knew this would make a perfect second chapter for my Dumbledore Vs the Whomping Willow story.

* * *

How Sirius didn't get expelled for stealing the sword of Gryffindor was anybody's guess. He did, however, end up with detention every weekend for a month, his Hogsmeade privileges were suspended for the rest of the year, and he had to clean out all the bedpans in the infirmary without using magic.

Altogether it was just another typical day for Sirius Black. He was always in trouble over something.

Upon returning to the Shrieking Shack, Sirius was surprised to hear James still talking about Dumbledore's battle with the Whomping Willow.

"That was nearly a week ago," said Sirius. "Why are we still talking about this?"

Beside him Remus sat quietly munching on a bar of chocolate. He listened to their conversation, keeping any thoughts or comments to himself because he was too busy eating to talk.

"Because this will live on in the history of the school," said James. "Think about it, Sirius. Years from now they'll be writing in the history books about how Dumbledore was the only headmaster who...who..." He broke off in mid-sentence as laughter consumed him, making it impossible for him to continue speaking.

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes.

"The only headmaster who fought the Whomping Willow and lost his beard!" James finally managed to finish. He burst out laughing and fell over onto his side, where he proceeded to lay on the floor laughing.

"Yeah, it's really funny, Prongs. I have prune hands from cleaning bedpans all morning long. And all you can think about is how Dumbledore lost his beard. Which, I might add, he magically regrew the next morning."

Hearing Sirius talk about having prune hands only made James laugh harder.

"A man should not have dish pan hands from scrubbing piss pots!" Sirius exclaimed as James rolled around on the floor laughing.

Peter Pettigrew turned to Lupin and grinned. "It was pretty funny when the Whomping Willow sliced off his beard and hairs went flying in all directions."

"And it was all thanks to Sirius and his grand plot to steal the sword of Gryffindor," said James, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as he sat up on the floor. He clapped Sirius on the back and said, "Way to go, Padfoot! You've officially earned the Marauder of the year award."

"Oh! Are we going to bronze one of the bedpans and give it to him as a trophy?" asked Peter.

Even Lupin couldn't help chuckling a little when he heard this.

"That's enough!" Sirius shouted. Apparently it had stopped being funny the moment he'd been caught and hauled off to the castle by Dumbledore.

"Wait a minute," said James, his expression brightening as a wide grin spread across his face. "Sirius' antics have given me an idea." He turned to Sirius and said, "I bet you I can climb to the top of the Whomping Willow without getting hurt."

Lupin suddenly pitched forward, choking on a mouthful of chocolate. Peter thumped him on the back for a minute until his airway was open and he could breathe again.

"You can't be serious!" the werewolf gasped, tears streaming down his cheeks as he drew in several deep breaths. "You could get yourself killed!"

"James," said Sirius. "Are you drunk?"

"No," James replied.

"Then why the hell do you want to climb the Whomping Willow?"

James snorted and waved off Sirius' concern. "You think I can't do it? Dumbledore fought that thing, so why shouldn't I be able to climb it?"

"Dumbledore is over a hundred years old - "

"Precisely my point," said James, cutting Sirius off before he could finish his sentence. "He's an old man, Padfoot. So someone younger and more fit like myself should have no trouble climbing it. Then my name will go down in school history too."

"And what do I get if you lose the bet?" asked Sirius.

"You can have my share of the food we've hidden in the Shrieking Shack. And if I win, I get all the ice cream you've stashed here."

"It's a deal," said Sirius, shaking James' hand. "There's no way you'll be able to pull this off."

.oOo.

Later that evening the four Marauders gathered around the Whomping Willow. Peter had changed into a rat so he could easily slip beneath the tree's flailing branches and press the knot at its base.

"Once Peter presses the knot, you will have about a minute to climb as far up into the tree as you can," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'm ready. Let's do this."

Peter pressed the knot on the tree. And as soon as the branches stopped moving and the tree became still, James leapt up and grabbed the nearest branch, holding on tight and using it to hoist himself up into the tree.

Sirius started laughing as he watched James climbing higher into the tree.

"This is so stupid," he said, chuckling as James slipped and nearly fell from the tree. "At least when I stole the sword of Gryffindor there wasn't a risk of getting killed in the process."

"Remind me again why we're letting him do this," said Lupin.

Because it's funny watching him make an arse out of himself," Sirius replied. "Besides, I love strawberries and kiwi in my vanilla ice cream. If he gets thrown from the tree - which he will in about forty five seconds - I get all his fruit and can make the biggest sundae the world has ever seen."

"Not with my chocolate you're not!" said Lupin, clutching a bar of chocolate against his chest. "If you want chocolate sauce for your sundae, I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere for it."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, Moony. We all know that you have dibs on all the chocolate in the castle. Although how you can drink chocolate sauce straight from the bottle without getting sick is beyond me."

James was about halfway up the Whomping Willow when the tree started to move. At first it was only the end of a single branch, creaking and quivering. Then one branch began to move, then another.

James froze, glancing over at the shaking branch beside him. His heart began to race as a branch directly beneath him whipped around, nearly striking him in the back. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.

He had to hurry. Pretty soon the whole tree would come alive, wildly swinging its branches in an attempt to throw him off. But even if he did make it to the top, what then? How was he going to get down? Or better yet, how was he going to get down safely?

"Didn't really think this through, did you, Prongs?" Sirius called up to his friend.

"Shut it!" James yelled.

He started climbing faster, determined to make it to the top even if it killed him.

The Whomping Willow began to sway, rocking and shaking its branches. To the tree James was nothing than an irksome fly it wanted to flick off into the night. And before long James found himself desperately clinging to one of its branches, trying to hold on as he was tossed this way and that.

Try as he might James couldn't hold on. The Whomping Willow hurled him through the air, sending him flying towards the castle. He ended up getting thrown through an open window, landing on the floor of the girl's bathroom.

He slid across the tiled floor, stopping inches from a large bathtub. Any further and he would have fallen head first into the water.

James lifted his head, his glasses askew on his face, and saw Lily bathing in the tub.

"Oh, well what do we have here?" he said, trying his best to appear cool and calm in front of the lovely lady he'd been admiring from afar for some time now. "Mind if I join you? I could help you wash your back if you like."

He smiled at her and winked. Lily screamed, picked up her towel and began hitting him in the face with it.

"Pervert! Voyeur!" she yelled at him, all while beating him about the face and chest with her towel. "You disgusting pig! Get out of here!"

At that moment Sirius ran in, just in time to see a nude Lily Evans smacking his best friend repeatedly with an oversized fluffy towel. Most of her privates were obscured by foamy bubbles since she had been taking a bubble bath. But it was still enough to cause him to stop and stare.

Lupin followed a minute later, hesitant to enter a ladies' bathroom since he knew nither he nor Sirius belonged in there.

When he saw James being attacked by Lily and Sirius staring open mouthed like a zombie, Lupin ran forward and grabbed James by the arm. He also seized Sirius and drug them both out of the bathroom as fast as he could.

"Remus!" James shouted angrily once they were out of the bathroom and halfway down the adjacent corridor. "Way to ruin a beautiful moment! If you'd left me alone a little while longer all the bubbles would have been gone."

"Beautiful moment?" Lupin exclaimed in astonishment. "That's the girls' bathroom! Are you completely mad? Wait, no. Don't answer that. You tried to climb the Whomping Willow. Of course you're mad."

"Remus, that was Lily Evans in there. _Lily Evans!_ And what's mad about wanting to sneak a peak at her?"

"You could get in serious trouble if you're caught lurking around the girls' bathroom. Sirius has already landed himself in detention scrubbing bedpans for a month. We don't need you getting detention as well. Merlin, am I the only one with any common sense and decency around here?"

"Well, at least one good thing came out of this," said James, now grinning at Lupin and Sirius. "I can now rub it in Snake's face that I got to see Lily's boobs and he didn't!"

"Great," said Lupin dryly. "Now you have something to think about while you wank off tonight. Now come on. Let's get out of here before Lily decides to charm a bunch of bath beads and sends them flying up your nose."


End file.
